My Little Swan Princess is my friend, my treasure. I know parents are supposed to be parents and not friends with their children, but with her sometimes I feel she has an older soul than mine. It may be that because she has been talking ever since she was a tiny toddler, I feel she understands more than she really does, or she should. Yesterday I took lunch to school to Gorgeous Boy, and since it was almost time for her class to come out of Kindergarten, I waited for her. I saw her running, little red jacket flying in the wind, towards the school bus. She hadn't seen me, so I tried to engrave that image of her on my mind, and I honked the horn and she flicked her eyes in my direction. Her eyes opened wide in delight, and she ran to my arms. When I picked her up she cried, "Oh mami amiga, I missed you so much!", and she was actually crying with happiness and relief.
She is so tenacious as any 5 year old, and she works so hard; she's so brave. Gorgeous and she have been taking swimming lessons these last few days. She's actually "repeating" level 1 because when she took lessons two years ago, she was so skinny and tiny, she couldn't float. This year, however, she's doing wonderfully, not even afraid to put her head underwater. Every day after class she says, "mami, look," and she showed me everything she learned that day.
My daughter is so graceful and beautiful, like a fairy. Today I was watching her in her ballet class, holding her head high, and I felt so proud, silly Yamile. The other moms asked me her name, and I loved saying it, and tasting the sound of it, like a prayer, like a holy word. In fact, when I'm afraid I say my kids names like a mantra, protecting me from evil and fear.
I hope she'll still love me and like me when she grows up. That I don't turn into a nagging mother, judging her, pushing her away. My relationship with my own mother used to be very good, until I started making my own decisions, or maybe it was because I showed who I really was and saw who she really was. It's very sad, not having that "unconditional" love and support every child needs to grow up feeling loved, important, respected.
I hope my daughter knows that I love her not matter what, even if I make mistakes, or she makes mistakes. Today we were talking about being together forever as a family, and I explained to her that my job is to teach her about Heavenly Father, so that she will make good choices when she grows up. She always listens intently, really taking in each word I say. And I don't think she understands the meaning of the words I'm saying, but she can feel the importance they carry. I love hanging out with her. Last weekend my wonderful sister-in-law V. and niece M. invited us to see "Disney Princess on Ice", very first row tickets!!!!!!!!, and instead of watching the show, I kept looking at the little friend beside me. Have I said she's beautiful?, and her eyes were shiny with happiness and magic. Later on, I asked her, "who's your favorite Princess?" and she said it was "Mulan." Mine is Magali, my Swan Princess.