"What we do in this life, echoes in eternity."
Maximus, Gladiator
"Our creator would never have made such lovely days, and given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal."
Nathaniel Hawthorne

Monday, February 18, 2008

Viewing the future

On Valentine's Day after my very depressing post, we finally went out to dinner to Bajio's. It's not a romantic place at all, and so we figured it wouldn't be crowded. So we went, and we loved the food. I felt slightly guilty because for once my kids ate ALL of the food we got for them, even Swan Princess.
On the way back everyone was very tired (from eating so much and the late hour), and I was relishing the hours I could spend drinking mate and reading "Eclipse" for the third time. When we pulled into our driveway, I got out of the car to open the garage door (our garage door doesn't work/is lost), and I thought I'd be a good wife. While Gorgeous Boricua parked the car in the garage, I decided to take out the garbage cans. It was Thursday, and our garbage is picked up very early on Fridays. Next thing I remember is being aware of my head knocking on the driveway, and bounce there a couple of times. I had slipped on the ice and landed flat on my back. The garbage spilled all on top of me. It was a full can of garbage. I couldn't move, and I started to cry because everyone was going inside the house; no one realized I had fallen. When I called out for Jeff (I'll just use real names, whatever!), he said, "What are you doing there?" And he came over and helped, while my little Gorgeous Boy cried. So I tried to be happy so my babies wouldn't be afraid, but my whole body hurt. I just wanted to go to bed.
I got everyone ready for bed; the sugar they had eaten non stop all day was finally going down, and they were tired. And when I saw their little sleeping faces, I wondered what would've happen if I had been by myself, if I had hit my head harder on the floor, if something would've happened to me on Valentine's Day night. You know how they say that when you're about to die, or experience a great shock, you see your life flash in front of you. I didn't see my past; I saw my alternative futures. I shuddered, and thanked Heavenly Father for giving me this present, for letting me be healthy and whole for my children. For giving me a husband who can provide so that I can stay home with my babies and see them grow, and fight, and be happy.
Most of all, I was scared; scared about how fragile life is. How life can change and end with the blink of an eye. I really want to enjoy every moment I have with them. Even when they fighting, the house is a mess, and laundry is reproducing exponentially in the hampers.

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